"Look It's Forest Gump"

So it's been a while from the last post, well if your saw the picture of the crack addict absolutely devouring a large mammal between two bit's of bread, you would soon realize that a image like that does take quiet a bit of time to purge from ones memory. So my therapist says that the best way to get over such distressing images such as these is to scan through the Internet and find the most disgusting, vile, retarded, sickly, mind blowing, messed up photos one has ever seen. "This would be no easy task". After scanning the world wide web for hours and turning up nothing more than pictures of dead corpses, rotting flesh and a few pictures of Paris Hilton *****Sickly Shiver***** doing something truly disgusting with what seemed to be a small sausage looking thing, Iv gotta say I was a bit disheartened I didn't think the therapist had got it right this time. So I figured instead of spending more lost time on the Internet I would take the kids for a ride. Here are a few pics.

So as we are riding around without a care in the world, suddenly with out warning the sky darkened the wind picked up all the dogs in the neighbourhood started to howl this ungodly howl. We were worried very worried. Was Armageddon about to be unleashed. Sensing something was not right I quickly threw the kids in the car and grabbed the camera, thinking this might be the thing that will finally wash those disturbing images out of my head (the crack whore as well as Paris Hilton) I jumped in the bush and waited. I didn't have to wait long, what is it, is it a Banshee from Scottish folk law, is it superman. As it neared the car we could plainly see this thing smiling as if to say" I'm going to get you" or "this bike I'm riding has no seat but I'm enjoying the pole". Dare I say it I thought we were Fucked. It got nearer and nearer and then went screaming past us kind of laughing and snorting, it turned around for another lap. So with my cat like reflexes I jumped out with camera in hand and got a quick photo. After what I had seen I thought it best to go home and develop the photos (as we are poor and still use a box Browne from 1892). This is what I found. I admit it's a little blurry and hard to make out but it looks a bit like forest gump to me, some people recon it could be a new life form of some sort and I should seek scientific help. What ever the discovery It sure took those past images out of my head (and replaced them). Any help in identifying this thing would be greatly appreciated.

Is it better to replace one sickly image with another???....... I think not, but it sure is a laugh.

A man called Ben

There was a man called Ben.
He may of liked men?
When It came too Poo.
He knew what too do.
Tip it out and make stew.

Camping shennanigan's part 1

We've been very busy, very stressed and very under sexed. So enough was enough we decided to take a weekend off and go camping. Although if you talk to anyone from my work I was layed up with diorrea and a migraine. It's funny how you never get questioned further when you say you have the runs. Anyway. We arrived to find a young Malcom Douglass, A.K.A. Ben Andrews had already put our tent up and blown up our mattress, which was fantastic even though everything was backwards this would make a great home for the next few days and it did. The first night was pretty uneventful apart from Malcom doing his first of many nudey runs.

I'm going to be dead for that. But there are a few single mother inlaws that read this blog and I'm sure they wont mind a bit of flesh being shown. (Malcom is available for private party's). We awoke on the first day to bacon, eggs and jack daniels. Fishing was the first order of the day for the kids. And they did well. Once again Blaze came out firring, casting and retrieving on his own he caught his first fish for the trip a flathead.

Not to be outdone Kai got in on the act landing this nice little bream.

Meanwhile a little blue eyed man was quietly going about his business. Before long Angus was amongst the action landing his first ever fish.

Fishing done it was time for the big boys to have a little play. Alcohol fuelled ideas started floating around and before long we had come up with the idea to tow something behind the boat. Malcom was voted as guinny pig (against his wishes to start with but a few drinks latter he was invincible). Clothes on this time he hopped in his boat ( plastic box) to embark on an adventure down the mighty Poona creek ( get pulled into a rock under the water of a dirty Poona estuary ).

Blaze had more luck with the "Boat".

Seeing that Blaze was having more success seemed to spur the older boys on a little bit and before long we had the lid off Malcoms esky and he was skipping around behind the boat like a big lure. I wont put the video on but take it from me it was a fuuny site seeing his legs overtake his head after a big face plant.

Quick snack and back into the water. This is Noah enjoying his favorite sandwich nutella on bread.

This "BEAST" is hmmm yeah well bit lost for word's actually. Suddenly being under sexed is no longer a problem. "Is that half a cow wrapped in bread?". Umm moving along at this point might be best.

 A quick nap and back into the shennanigans......... No that didn't help, as cute as Angus is I can still see that last picture in my head as I'm sure you all can. I might stop the blog on that note and go and get rid of the sic that is building up in my mouth. If no more blogs follow think the worst, that hunk of meat between the bread was how I met my fait. I'm off to have a shower I feel so dirty.

"Lammys"

Lamingtons great idea? 3 small children, dessicated coconut and melted chocolate the making's of the mother of all messes. I guess mummy ( the one with the bright idea in the first place ) thought because the little master chef actually had all the master chef get up, he would be able to handle a task like making lamingtons. Many smarter families refuse to buy "Satan's favorite treat" and here we were going to make them. What ensued was not kaos as you might expect but 3 small boy's led by the small master chef actually working together to quickly and most surprisingly quietly make these little treats.

Noah melting the chocy with his little outfit on.

Once again Noah delegating all the shitty jobs to his older brother.

All the terrors getting involved at this stage. I think the making of the "lammys" has taught the whole family some valuable lessons. They are as follows.
1. Clothes do make the man (well in Noahs case anyway).
2. Don't underestimate the speed in witch the kids can carry out a task (lamingtons got finished really quickly once they were told they could lick the chocolate bowl).
3. Clean hands good, dirty hands = runs.
4. Don't leave to go to work 1 hour early just to avoid mess, cause it will still be there when you get home just in another form.

"Watch This"

Boy's, need I say more. We spend a fair bit of our time at the beach, the boys are learning to surf and body surf and now it seems Flip. That's right Flip. I cant remember what it was like to be 6 years old but I'm pretty sure I didn't have this overwhelming urge to run up and do flips off things (I do now but mainly when I've had a few too many beverages) and by thing's I mean at school off a pile of chip bark, at home off the couch and now at of the eroded sand cliff's at the beach. " Hey dad look what I learned at school the other day". Thinking it was going to be a new joke or how to fold one of those paper things that tell you your future or tell you you eat snot, me andthe boy's gathered around Kai to listen intently for any new found word's of wisdom. No word's of wisdom just this "Watch this" so off this little danger mouse ran up the dunes and without a thought for his own personal safety straight off the cliff in to some half pike knee tuck flip thing. Brilliant the school has had enough of him all ready and told him to jump off a cliff or at the very leased go brake your neck. So as any responsible parent would do I asked him if he could do that again but at leased waited until Igotthe camera. He was very obliging. So here it is. That may or may not be be laughing in the background.

Not to be out done Noah decides he's going to try to better his older brother but with very little balance and not really the physic to be doing somersaults of high ground it all ended badly. "Quick dad grab something" I don't think the camera was what he had in mind but it was here and the towels and the fresh water were all the way over there, so being the responsible parent I am, I took only a few photo's laughed a bit then cleaned him up. Poor little man.

Mountain Climbing

Since experiencing an overwhelming sense of accomplishment and some fantastic views from Mount Tinbeerwah in Tewantin back in July, it has now become a family interest to climb mountains.  I know it sounds a little bizarre, especially when you are talking about dragging along three young children, but surprisingly the boys seems to enjoy it as much as we do. 

So today, when we felt that sense of adventure, we decided we would tackle Mount Coolum, which is renown for its spectacular ocean and hinterland views of the Sunshine Coast.  Boasting a summit approximately 200 metres above sea level and a warning sign stating experienced climbers only and a 2 hour round trip, we (well I and the kids) decided this time, unlike our Kondalilla Falls adventure, that we would wear joggers and take a water bottle.  Dad on the other hand thought he could tough it out and decided to wear thongs, which he regretted and will most certainly pay for in the morning!

When we arrived the kids were full of beans excited about their adventure ahead, running from the car the first part of the trail was like a nice bush walk with only a slight incline and a couple of steps.  I asked the boys what we were going to see on our walk and Blaze advised me that he was going to see two birds, some koalas and a crocodile! Interesting....  We managed to see a couple of birds but unfortunately no koalas and surprisingly no crocodiles!

After approximately 50 metres, Blaze decided that he'd had enough and wanted to be carried, which was just in the nick of time as the next corner revealed a rocky steep climb definitely not 2 year old material!  So much to Dad's disgust he had to then carried Blaze on his shoulders for the remainder of the climb, bearing in mind he was only wearing thongs!  Noah was fantastic he was like a little rock spider, hopping from one rock to another with ease.  He was the leader, which is normal for Noah always wanting to be the one in charge with all the power, and he did a great job safely getting us to the summit.  During the climb we were lucky enough to watch an aeroplane land on an air-strip at the air-port.  Dad was trying to get the Noah to wave but he was too focused on reaching the summit!  We also watched a falcon (bird) hovering, by the wind drafts, only metres away before it was swooped by a small bird.

The views were unbelievable!!!  Below is a photo of the boys observing the ocean views, just before another plane landed in the distance.

The descend which we thought may have taken longer than the climb, due to the shear drop offs, took less than two-thirds of the time that it took to climb the mountain, thanks to Noah and his ingenious idea of sitting on his bum and using the slippery rocks as a slippery slide.  Very funny to watch and a little scary, however when he did walk he managed to trip twice and almost fall over, so sliding was definitely a better option.  Luckily he was wearing cotton pants instead of board shorts as this option resulted in his pants becoming very worn and covered in dirt and I'm pretty sure if he was wearing board shorts they would have torn before he had finished the descend and I don't think they would have provided enough protection for his poor bum!

The final result; an exhausted sore-footed sore-shouldered daddy, an exhausted heat-stroked sun burnt mummy, a dirt covered and pants worn Noah and an energetic refreshed Blaze! The total round trip took less than an hour.

The photographer of the morning decided it would be a great idea to take photos from the back of the pack or should I say the back of my pack, there was a large number of these photos taken which only increased my and the family's mountain climbing interest.  Unfortunately due to the shear size of these photos I am unable to upload them on our blog, maybe next time after we tackle Mount Pomona (450 metres above sea level, maybe not Blaze material and definitely joggers and water material)!!! 

Mountain Climbing, To be continued......

Noah the fearless

Noah was a bit bummed out that there wasn't a video of him surfing on his "puewter thing" so as this online diary thing is for them I suppose I better. This is Noah at noosa a week ago he's not standing up yet but it wont be long. Both the boy's want surfboards for Christmas, it's good to see all my propaganda didn't fall on deaf ear's.

So as thing's always happen in three's around here Blaze wants a video of him on here as well so this is one of blaze learning how to fish. Blaze has already caught a number of fish in his short time as a fisherman ( not bad for a 2 year old) most were caught with a bit of assistance but not all.

Blaze did up his own fishing rig witch consisted of a float a hook a sinker and about 100 meters of tangled line.

Fast learner

The kid's have always been ahead of the pack. Kai walked at 9 months and talked earlier than most. (That's one random scary story in it's own right.) Noah's sentence structure and term of phrase has people looking at him and going "were the hell did he learn that". Blaze "Mr independent" toilet trained at age 2 (even if I have to go in there and wipe his bum, it's good to see he needs dad for some thing's.) And just bloody fearless in everything he does. But its Kai's latest pass time that has everyone a wee bit worried, except me of course I couldn't be happier. Surfing. Wait till the Grandma finds out!!!!

 That's the shortest video of Kai I have, I hope it work's. Kai said to me while we were out there "dad I wanna be the best surfer in the world one day". Well we will see what happens there but he sure does love being out there, the kid has no fear.

" I Wanna Be A Masterchef "

Those are the word's every busy parent wishes they didn't hear. Well Noah said it and he meant it. I wanna make " skettiy ". I love skettiy, so thinking this was a great opportunity to have skettiy for the 4th time this week we started what would be come a little man's obsession. Noah has great memory recall which isn't always a good thing but as we had pretty much been eating skettiy all week he knew exactly what to do.

Noah getting all set up, he refused any help offered especially from Mummy ( she's not really known for her culinary skills).

Every Chef iv ever worked with have all had 1 thing in common ( no not the heavy drinking the abusive language or the utter disrespect for dish pig ) But the power to delegate all those shitty jobs to some poor unsuspecting apprentice, Noah figured he had the kitchen under his control and Kai would pay for all his previous indiscretions by chopping the onions. And he did. Kai soon caught on and as any smart man would do when he's getting abused by the powers at be, he made himself scarce.

A few tense minutes latter Noah had sweat off the onion's browned the mince and anything else he could find for his home made sauce and was adding the seasoning. Dinner was great, somehow we all survived witch was good, as mummy's dinner 9 times out of 10 will give us the runs ( I'm no mathematician those stats may not be that accurate). Since then Noah has really gained confidence and has made some dishes that would make any mouth water. The kid has a freakishly good palate and can cook better than most adults I know. See for yourself.

Crispy skinned Salmon with blanched asparagus and cauliflower puree.

Dark chocolate pannacotta with homemade honeycomb and white chocolate sauce.

Last Week's 5km Trek

As we both work full time and time as a whole family is pretty rare, when we are all together we try our hardest to do something that excites all of us. Last week some bright spark came up with a great plan, we should travel out to a small town on the hinterland called Montville. That bit was fine..... Until the same bright spark said we should go and check out the local waterfall, little did me and the kid's know that this walk was 2hours long and a most of the trek would be a climb. Here are a few photo's.

This was about 20min in. The kids are still all smile's at this point.

All still good but it did start to rain so we felt it was best to start the "short" walk to the main waterfall.

Half of the way in (its always when it's to late to turn back) we noticed that everyone we passed was not only giving us very strange looks, but they all looked like they had just walked to hell and back. All of these hardcore walkers were kitted up with there best walking shoes, backpacks, walking poles and water bottles. On the other hand here we were with 3 small children, no water, no food and the great Australian work boots on our feet THONGS. This was no death march this was just another one of MUMMY's sic jokes.

We did have a lot of fun. More importantly we did it as a family. I would highly recommend a day out to Kondilla falls in mountville.

Post 1

So I dont realy know what to say, I'v started this blog as more of a diary for the kid's, there crazy exploites have driven me to this.

Starting with the youngest Blaze, as his given name suggest's he is a fiery little creature of habit. He's a thrillseeker who refuses to be pushed around by his older brothers. Having said that he does have a soft side. He loves fishing. He is 2.

This is Noah. The middle child, he is the softy of the bunch, The chef and the fisherman of the house. Noah seem's to fly under the radar a little more than the other 2, but i guess most middle children do, Noah has a heart of pure gold. He's also refered to as "Nog" "Noggy" "Whitey" "Big boy". Noah is 4.

I like to think of this little man as test subject 1. As the first born Kai has seen it all, the good the bad the ugly. He is smarter than most kid's his age and that's not just dad speaking his teachers and other people he spend's any length of time with all notice that he has the spark inside.(Thats what I call it anyway he gets it from his mother).He lives to scare the shit out of  his mum he is the ultimate 6 year old thrillseeker (some might say he get's that from his dad).

Well they are the reson we are doing this blog